I was listening to Revolution by The Beatles and it made me think. Who are we to fight one another? Who am I to disagree with someone on how they live their life? We have to answer to someone right?
It makes me so sad sometimes that people cannot truly be themselves with one another. I wonder if people are all the same really but we try to be who we think we are suppose to be. Can you ever be your self?
That is what I am trying to do with this blog. I am not telling anyone about this blog. I am not sharing this blog. This is mine. I can say whatever I want and no one will no it is me.
Wouldn't that be nice? A world without judgement and worry of what everyone is thinking of you. You should have to answer to no one but yourself. I believe in God so I believe I must answer to Him. I just worry sometimes that I will never truly be good enough. I will never truly do what I am suppose to do. How does a person change their personality? How does a person change the way they have been their whole life? It is hard to just be open and honest about who you are and it is hard to not get mad at other people for not being who you thought they were. I wan to be a good person. I want to be liked like everyone else does.
I am a mother of two. This is what defines me. I am a wife. I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, a friend, a christian. These are all titles. But what would someone else say. How would the people who "know you best" describe you? Scary thought huh? It is to me sometimes especially if they were given the chance to say it without you knowing. They had the complete freedom to say whatever they wanted about you without you ever hearing or knowing. What would someone say about you? What would you want them to say? What do you want people to see when they look at you?
I feel as though I have good intentions. Do I always follow through? NO! People are so selfish. I am definitely included in that definition.
I have had a year to think about my life and what I really want. What does anyone want? To be happy. Sounds easy right? I think so but for some reason that is a hard goal to obtain. To be completely content with your life, your job, your spouse, your kids, your family, your house, your car, your income. If you could name me one person that is content in all areas of their life could you name someone? I cannot. I cannot think of a person in my life who never complains about anything. I can think of people who come close. We must always strive to be content with our life. I fail miserably every day. I am hoping this helps. To release all my thoughts out into the abyss of the internet and see if it helps. I am an open person but am still afraid of what the closest people to me would think if I really said all of the things I think.
God knows, He always knows. He knows our heart. I hope my heart is open.
I have always wanted to help people. I have always felt like I was very compassionate and understanding to all people. Sympathetic to the needs of others. I am not so good with my own children though. How can this be?
I want to help people but I can be so short fused with my own family. This is where I should be the most sympathetic right? I just do not have any answers for you. Still working on it myself.
