A few things...

Last night at church I had a little present in my box. It was wrapped and all it said was To Kortney Happy New Year! I had no idea that there was a such thing as New Year's gifts but I was happy, curious, and surprised! I resisted the urge to just rip it open right then because one I didnt know where it was from or more importantly who. I did not want the anonymous person to feel awkward since they clearly wanted their identity hidden. So, when Tinzley found me after class she immediately took the present as her own and put it in her Hello Kitty bag and the present was out of my mind for the ride home. When we got home the present was delivered to me by Tinzley as she was emptying out her bag. I still had no clue as to what it was or who it was from. I opened up the present and immediately was intrigued. It was a journal... but more importantly this journal had been written in and it was all written to me. So it turns out it was an encouragement journal from people at church. My wonderful, dear friend Rachel set this up and did the work of writing everyone's sentiments in the journal. To say the least I was OVERWHELMED! I could not stop crying! Tinzley asked me why I was crying and I told her not to worry that it was happy crying. She then very graciously offered me one of her Hello Kitty books. :) Jonas came in the room to see what all the fuss was about and he instantly was concerned. He ran to me and gave me a huge hug! Again, the overwhelming feeling just kept coming.

As I skimmed through the book I felt very undeserving. I felt very appreciated and loved. I felt humbled and embarassed! I felt encouraged, honored, have I said overwhelmed yet? I just could not get over the people who had taken the time to write such thoughtful, interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes serious things. I have many encouraging words from individuals but I also got so many encouraging Bible verses. God is just amazing and His people are amazing. I dont know what I have done to deserve any of the love, praise, and encouragement I have recieved but I do know how thankful I am for it.

I had felt so lost for so long and now I finally feel as though where I am headed and what I am doing is right. Will I continue to make mistakes? of course but I know I have such a great support system around me. I also know that without the people in my life i would not be here right now listening to my children enjoy each other, disagree and fight, hug and encourage one another, and love one another one second and dislike each other the next! I would not have the loving and supportive husband that Tom continues to be everyday. I would not have had this Christmas and New Year with my little amazing family.

I want everyone to know that if you are struggling or if you are doubting yourself first off find someone you can talk to and share with openly and honestly. Never be afraid to ask for help from anyone and everyone who is willing. Also, never forget that wherever you are and whatever you have done God has seen worse and that you are forgiven as soon as you ask Him for it. Satan is always there too waiting for you to fall down again. God will pick you up! Just trust HIM... sounds simple right?

I meet with our minister at our church every few weeks and i laugh because I will ramble on and on for 20 min or so then he will say one or two things and I always look at him and say "its simple right?' If you read your bible, pray everyday, and are open and honest with yourself, with God and with the people around you, you will find your answer and you will find your way out. Trust me... I have been in the darkest of places with no way out. God always finds a way!

Right now I am so grateful for my friend Rachel! Those of you who read this and dont know who she is well I just cant say enough good about her and she would be the first to deny it which shows how humble she is. She has been an amazing friend to me and I cant thank her enough. All I can do is show her the same love and appreciation she has shown me!

I ask for a special prayer for Tom. He is the hero in all of this, not me. He is the strength, not me. He is the person that never waivered from God, not me. He is also the person with the toughest job, forgiveness, everyday.

How many times must we forgive? 70x7 :)

On a much lighter note... Tinzley just had to have her picture taken today so I will share that pic but we also got the kids a new portable dvd player and they were still enough to let me get a pic of the two of them so you get two pictures today

Also, in the potty training world Tinzley is doing GREAT! Let's pray this continues! :)